SNOWMAGEDDON!!!!!

This has been a particularly tough winter in Bucks County. Tough by Bucks County standards, that is; being from Upstate Central New York, I consider myself a snow-hardened winter tough-guy, although I do have to admit that the comparatively balmy weather here has softened me up quite a bit. But when you come down to it, it’s winter, and it’s going to be cold, windy, and snowy.

The news media here, however, seems fascinated by the fact that it is indeed cold, windy, and snowy, and is quick to sensationalize the snowstorms. A large winter storm in early February was labeled both ”Snowmageddon!” and “ The Snowpocalypse!” in large headlines, both on-line and in traditional newsprint. This seemed all well and good on February 5th and 6th for the duration of this cataclysmic white out, but when an even larger storm came along to top it a few days later on February 10th and 11th, it appeared to have been a rash decision to have used up these superlatives so quickly. At least the weather events of the 10th and 11th storm could safely have been labeled as “The Storm of the Decade!”

In light of the terms used to describe these weather events, I think the news media would do well by borrowing from the lexicon and history of sports reporting and sport-talk radio. Storms can be safely compared to historic legends noted for their power, fury, and short tempers – like “The Babe Ruth of Cold Fronts!”...."A 1993 Chicago Bulls-izzard!!" or “The Bobby Knight of Chair-Throwing Thunderstorms ! “.

These weather disturbance could be described as a play-by-play announcer would call it: “ It's a long, towering, line drive home run of a snowstorm!”. Who wouldn’t want to run out and panic shop for bread and beer when a “Steel Cage Death Match Snowstorm!” is blowing in out of the North?

Personally, I prefer to use a book from my childhood to gauge the intensity of snowstorms; these past two Mother Of All Snowstorms that visited us this month in my estimation really amounted to a ”Katy Level 2” and a “Katy Level 1” snowstorms.

I base this description on the book “Katy and the Big Snow” by Virginia Lee Burton. In that book, a town is saved from it’s own “Snowmageddon” ( or, “Superbowl of Snow”, as I prefer to call it) by a diligent tractor that slowly but tirelessly plows everyone out . And, I suppose, also plugs up the ends of a lot of driveways of people who had just completed their own “Olympic Marathon of Shoveling”… but, just as we tend to remember the winners of the big events and focus on the victorious crowds, the scenes of disgruntled homeowners shaking their fists at the large deposits of snow piled up in the wake of Katy at the foot of their driveways ( “dammit! just when I had shoveled enough for a bread and beer run!”) isn’t shown.

Tonight in Bucks County we are experiencing another storm, with up to 12 inches of snow expected and winds gusting to 50 miles and hour. Indeed, as I type this I can hear the winds howling outside and feel our old house shudder as it bears the third Snowpocalypse of this month.

I for one am hoping this weather event becomes “The Bill Buckner of Showstorms “…
(posted by Rich Harrington)